Monday night I cried myself to sleep. It’s been a long haul. Visiting churches and talking to people about partnering with us in ministry, trying to get our house sold and just the everyday “life” things are exhausting. I thought I was just tired and in need of a good cry but I woke up Tuesday morning and again wept uncontrollably. I was asking God why we weren’t in the field yet, why our house hadn’t sold yet and why it seems like this process is taking forever. God in his all knowing and all powerful way found a way to get through to me in my morning devotions.
Tuesday’s devotions were on Psalm 86 and the verses that hit me the hardest were vs 3 “Have mercy on me, O Lord for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant for to you, O Lord, I lift my soul” and then vs. 17 “Give me a sign of your goodness, that my enemies may see it and be put to shame, for you, O Lord, have helped me and comforted me.” So I prayed these verses, “Have mercy and grace on me Father and bring the joy of this Christmas season to me.” You see the 3rd candle on the advent wreath we light each day is the candle of joy, and I wanted that joy as we lit the candle. Then I prayed for God to show me a sign to bring me to that joy and to comfort me. I know who my enemy is and he surely was attacking me and robbing me of all the joy that I was to experience as we went through this process of partnership development.
I had the joy of having coffee with a fellow missionary in the same process we are going through on Tuesday late morning. We talked for a couple hours and as we talked I realized that this is just part of the process. Ups and downs and trials and joys. Some days are filled with progress and others feel almost like a setback but God has a plan, and His plan is always best. We shared our struggles and frustrations and we shared what is working and what isn’t. God sent someone to me to show me a sign of His goodness! What a huge answer to prayer and within hours of praying!
The day went on and we heard about a gift from one of our partners that puts us one step closer to the field and we also heard that we were going to have a second showing on our house on Saturday and our house was the first on the list so far! Again, almost immediate answers to the prayer for a sign of His goodness!
That leads us to today! Devotions today were on Psalm 116 which starts out … vs 1-2 “I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.” and then vs 5-7 “The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simple hearted; when I was in great need, he saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to me.”
His Word always has what we need when we need it. It’s the Word of God! Why wouldn’t it? The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is our God too! Overwhelming is the word I use to describe this. He has overwhelmed me again and I know He will continue to for as long as I live.
Jackie