Change. It’s a funny thing. We have prayed and prayed for this time to come. For our support level to be at a point where we can complete our Pre-Deployment training on the field, for us to move out of our house and for us to start to help those in need of having their homes and lives rebuilt by the power of God. But today, as I contemplate packing up the rest of our house, saying good bye to our family and friends and actually moving (albeit temporarily) to New Orleans I wonder…will I follow God’s direction with blind faith like Sarah did and trust in His covenant to bless us as we bless others or will I look back like Lot’s Wife and become paralyzed like a pillar of salt?
The last couple of weeks I have to be honest, I have felt more paralyzed than following with blind faith. After a year of prayer, our house is still not sold, after 2 years of ministry partnership development we are not fully funded and saying all these good byes just isn’t my idea of a “fun” time at all. Then there is packing up a 2800 square foot house into a 20X24 foot storage unit and a 34 foot camper which is overwhelming at best. I look around the house and wonder what to do first, or what to do at all? My list is getting longer instead of shorter as my need to see my friends is taking over my need to pack up the house. I want to make sure that I say “good” good byes and that I’m not a blubbering fool when I do say good bye.
Then there is our kids. David (25) and Brad, (19) will be living together in Burnsville, MN until Brad goes back to college in August. Brad will probably be working a couple jobs to get some cash in the bank this summer so he doesn’t have to work during the school year and David will probably be working full time but they will have each other. I am so grateful that they worked out this arrangement by themselves and they seem to like the idea. They are different personalities but I think that it will be good for both of them to be together this first summer we are gone. Leaving them up here will be very difficult for me even though neither has lived with us full time for over a year now and David even longer than that. We will stop on the way down to New Orleans to say good bye to Misty, Jason and our grandchildren next weekend. Even though we don’t see them every weekend, there was always that opportunity if we wanted to. Now they will be 15 hours from us instead of 5… I am so grateful for Skype and FaceTime!!!!
And my mom…my mom is truly my best friend. As many of you know she has struggled for years with her eyes and is currently on her 7th cornea transplant between the 2 eyes. I have tried to be at as many of her Mayo Clinic appointments as I could be at and kept track of her care and progress. I pray that as I leave here that my brothers and sister can pick up where I left off and keep track of her care. Her husband Dale is there with her but he works 3/4 time and it’s difficult for him to always be there too. I am so grateful for his love for her and how he cares for her.
On Sunday, May 18, we will have a prayerful send off at our church, Maple Grove Evangelical Free Church. We are not being commissioned there yet because we are not fully funded. Saying good bye to the people we have called our church family for the last 13 years will be difficult at best. We have grown up in the Lord with these people. They know us and we know them. There is a trust level that goes with that that takes a long time to build and we will have to rebuild that in a new area. We won’t be back here until the end of September and that’s pretty overwhelming for me. The woman that has mentored me for years and the woman I have recently begun to mentor are there. I love these women like sisters and leaving them will be the hardest of all I think. A little piece of me will stay at MGEFC I’m sure. That is “home” to us.
As this week has gone by, I have done my devotions and really tried to be a Sarah. I have tried to look at the eternal rather than the temporary and tried to follow with blind faith. Faith that the house WILL sell. Faith that we WILL be 100% supported soon. And faith that God DOES love our kids more than we do and WILL bless them as He blesses us. I keep thinking about next Saturday as we drive away from this house for possibly the last time…will I sit quietly in my car with tears rolling down my cheeks and pray as I drive down the road as Sarah did on her donkey all those years ago or will I be like Lot’s Wife and look back at the house and become paralyzed like a pillar of salt and stare at what could be if I stay here… As hard as it will be, I will CHOSE to be like Sarah and leave what is temporary to build a home in eternity with those that we share the hope of Christ with in ministry with ReachGlobal Crisis Response. Please pray with me as this coming week comes to a close. We will need your prayers.